Anxiety & Motherhood

Anxiety & Motherhood

Hello, beautiful ones, it’s Tammie Pike. And what I would like to share with you today is the journey of motherhood and how anxiety is part of today’s motherhood.

Being a mum, we have anxiety about being not good enough. We have anxiety about not raising our kids well enough. We have anxiety about what happens to work, what would happen to our kids you know we have this mindset that is really fine-tuned on fear, not being good enough, not worthy enough. All that kind of stuff. And this can lead to us everyday living in a world where we feel unloved, unworthy we feel so freaking fearful of everything. And we feel that we aren’t good enough in what we’re doing already.

So, what I want to share with you is that I experienced anxiety so much of my life and it wasn’t until I had my youngest daughter, Brookie. She was really unwell as a baby and I lived in fear every single day that I was going to lose her. I’d wake up a mess going, how is she, what is she doing, all that kind of stuff.

I was crying all the time but I hide this from everyone. And anyone who is suffering from some sort of an emotional or mental disorder knows how well to fake it. And this is a thing we have to start taking steps for ourselves to start finding ways out of this space, out of being in this really dark area of staying in a shadow side.

The thing is fear is a door and we have a choice to choose, sometimes it feels so overwhelming because the volume is tense so fired up that we can’t hear anything else. So, we’ve got to have tools. We have tools and tool kit and as soon as we start freaking out, “What is some of the things that can help you through this?”.

For me, my number one tip is to go outside, take your shoes off and ground yourself in. And imagine that you have roots coming at the bottom of your feet. And that going down into mother earth and allowing her energy to mingle with your own and being held by that energy. Now might sound weird to some of you but anyone who knows about grounding, and that it has been scientifically proven to actually work.

It will help calm you down it will help release good endorphins within your body. And it’ll help you calm your nervous system because as soon as we’re in that anxiety mode, what happens is it drains all stuff reaping right up and we are not functioning correctly whatsoever. And it’s like we’re in that flight mode, if we’re gonna be chased or heard was something like that that’s the same kind of feeling we’d get when we’re experiencing anxiety.

So, what I invite you to do is to have this in your toolkit. Write it up somewhere or write it everywhere or even put it on your phone as an alarm. For every ten, twenty, thirty minutes, every hour. Go outside and grind because this will help relax you. It will help calm your body and nervous system down.

The second thing that I used to use a lot was essential oils. Aromatherapy is amazing. So, lemon oil, go and research the benefits of lemon oil. Actually, is the only smell that calms and can actually create a chemical reaction within your brain, to release those really you know feel-good emotions. I used to sit down to put a couple of drops on a tissue put it in my hand, cup it. And do like a slow breathing meditation and it really calms me down and helps me find more positivity within myself, and in my circumstances in the environment.

The third thing is that you can start looking into heart coherence. It is a beautiful meditation to help you get into your heart, rather than being focused on your thoughts. There are so many tools but whatever grabs your attention now within this video I invite you to go and explore that because this is what your body is calling for you to find out and find more back.

So, this is also a doing your gratitude when we in the space of anxiety, anger, depression all that kind of stuff we can’t see the positivity in our life, but what we do if we actually take a moment to check in and to truly see what we can be grateful for. Is it a roof of your head? Is it you’re bed? Is it you know that your body can move and help you explore this world. You know what is it? That you’re breathing do you have health, do you have a family? Think about as many many things that you can because this will help recalibrate your mindset and help dim down those negative thoughts.

So, these are just some of the tools I can help you and have helped me with my anxiety so I’m sending you all so much love and there’s one more tip that I have to share. And that is for you to go and find someone you can speak to. If you experiencing anxiety do not go through this alone.
I went through alone most of my life and especially when I was having panic attacks and a lot kind of things. I was experiencing this by myself because I could not think that I was lessened, I would not let anyone see underneath the covers of how badly I was truly. Truly not coping with how useless I felt, how worthless I felt because I couldn’t be the mom, the wife to everything, to everyone I thought I was.
So as soon we let down these guts we stop this high expectation and anxiety starts to lessen. As a mum, it’s not your world to be everything for everyone. You do not need to be a supermum. You need to make sure that you were looking after yourself and doing what you need.

So, I’m sending all so much love and wish I could wrap you all up in a big hug and know that you know it is a way for you to learn more about yourself. If you start practicing and cultivating self-love, which means choosing yourself every single day, which means doing something good for yourself every single day. You will see, your last starting out to improve. You start seeking that feeling more and more more. So, I sending you so much love and know you can do this beautiful and you are not alone in this.

What is the Mumpreneur Movement about?

What is the Mumpreneur Movement about?

Many have asked me what is the Mumpreneur Movement about?

I always respond with it was created to support women to do life, motherhood and business differently.

It sounds pretty doesn’t it, but what does it really mean?

For me it means that I was so sick and tired of seeing fluffy content focused on this that didn’t really matter, content that eluded that I wasn’t pretty, fit and wrinkle-free enough, that I must be failing because my business wasn’t automated, making millions of dollars; of have hundreds and thousands of followers.

I also felt that there was such a disconnect between what a mum really is and how it’s portrayed in today’s society, especially on social media.

Just take a scroll on Instagram you can see thousands of influencer mums looking stylish and put together as do their children. Their house looks immaculate and they seem to have a perfect life.

Though it’s not real, yes some of it is but we don’t get to see behind the scenes, you know the real stuff like trying to juggle being a mum and being a boss whilst never having enough energy to make love to your partner (or with yourself, I don’t’ judge). That you can’t always take a perfect selfie, and yes it’s normal for kids to argue and fight amongst themselves as it is for us to mess up.

WE AREN’T PERFECT! 

Life, motherhood and business are messy, chaotic and can feel like you are on a rollercoaster that never ends.

Sometimes it all seems hard and you hold on for dear life and try and control everything and everyone which only makes things work (like being on the rollercoaster the only thing you can control is yourself).

Then sometimes it all seems easy and fun which is when you let go of the safety bars and surrender to wherever you are being taken.

It is this duality, the challenges and experiences, the ups and downs that we have that make us stronger, wiser; more resilient as well as making us more grateful.

So I created the MM as I wanted you, women around the world to know that you aren’t alone and never will be. I am here for you, my beautiful community. As is each woman who is journeying with us.

I am here to support you, educate you and empower you through the best way I know how – The Mumpreneur Movement Magazine that shares real-life stories & expert advice from authentic women (& from a man or two) who understand you and where you are at.

This is who the Mumpreneur Movement is and I am so proud of the contributors who show up for each issue and share authentically, openly and loving for all of us to gain from.

Together we can thrive if we are willing to support each other.

So much love,

Tam x

Mums Guilt

Mums Guilt

MUMS GUILT

Running a business is a pretty impressive feat. There is so much preparation, stress, time and money that goes into running your own business. Oh and don’t forget the tears. There is always a few of those. What makes running a business an even harder and yet even more impressive feat is if you are doing it as a parent.

I am sure you have heard the word ‘mumpreneur’ floating around. This is the term used for a mum that is also running her own business. It is a very exciting step for a mum to take. It gives her a chance to not only provide for her family but in many cases be able to do it from home and spending more time around her children. However it is not always sunshine and roses. The thought of running a business from home and being able to spend your days playing with your children often does not end up a reality.

In many cases mumpreneurs also suffer from mum guilt. The guilt comes from realising that sometimes it is going to be harder than working a job outside of the home, that the hours can end up being very long and in the beginning phases you may not get to spend as much time with your little ones as you had first planned. You may also feel the guilt towards the business. That you are not spending enough time on it, that it is not getting your full attention and that you could be doing more. 

Mum guilt is a very real thing and something that many mumpreneurs suffer from at one time or another. There are ways to help with this guilty feeling and help you to push through them and shift your focus back to the reason you started your business.

Have a daily routine

We all know as parents that a daily routine normally doesn’t go to plan. There is always something that goes wrong, runs late or just doesn’t happen as per the routine. However it is still very important during your time as a mum in business to create a routine and try your best to stick to it. Break your day up into different areas. Give the business the time it needs when it is needed and give your children their time with you as well. If you are using a routine to schedule your day you are more likely to be more productive during your time working on the business and more focused on the children during your time spent with them. 

Accept help

I know, easier said than done right! Although it is something that you need to learn to be able to do. If you are offered help; whether it is by watching the children for an hour or two or a hand tidying up the house or cooking a few meals for you – than accept it. Life is going to be hard enough running both a business and a household and it is okay to need help to stay on top of everything. Even if you are not offered help but you know you need it – ask for it. You will be surprised at the number of people who are ready and willing to help you. All you need to do is ask.

Make your time count

If you have scheduled in 3 hours of work on the business during the day – make these hours count. Have a plan for what you are going to achieve during this time and work towards getting it all done. When you are spending your time with the children, plan fun things to do, give them your full attention and enjoy yourself. 

Making yourself aware of the time you have for each thing will help you to make the most of the time.

And lastly, be easy on yourself. You are doing such a lot and it may be hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel in the beginning but remember what you are doing, why you are doing it and focus on the future benefits of it all. 

Mum guilt should not define how you spend your time. Be relaxed and help yourself to shift past the guilt and bring yourself into a happy and positive state. 

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