When you become a mother your whole world changes

When you become a mother your whole world changes

When you become a mother your whole world changes, your body is different, you have a baby who you care for 24/7 who feeds, sleeps & probably even sometimes poops or vomits on you.

It’s like you have grown an attachment that even so small consumes your every waking moment & even when you are sleeping, do we actually even sleep properly when we have a newborn. I know I would wake at the slightest noise every single time.

Your daily chores that used to be simple now become a mammoth task to complete as you are usually either disrupted 10times or have your little attachment in one arm.

As beautiful as becoming a mother is such as watching your baby feed, sleep & all the firsts it also is very draining on the mind, body & soul. It’s easy for mums to get run down, experience fatigue in the most extreme ways, self-doubt on if you are doing a good enough job, self-confidence can dip as your body isn’t like it used to be (it’s much more beautiful, though sometimes that can take a little bit of time to true know) and all that other things that can also come with motherhood such as anxiety, post natal depression & even guilt & shame if your birth didn’t happen how you were dreaming for it to be.

I honestly have felt and experienced all of the above. I have had 3 children. My first was an emergency c-section, 2 natural, 1 with an epidural (36hours long) & then a natural, drug-free 4 hour birth, though to be honest towards the end I was screaming like a mad woman for anything drug, epidural, anything. My midwife calmly looked at me & told me that I was doing great and could do it without any interference, I won’t tell you what my reply was, let’s just say I didn’t agree.

I experienced postnatal depression with my second child & rushed back to work as I couldn’t cope being at home with her and my son.
Then with my third who had health complications, I experienced extreme anxiety & mild panic attacks.
I know what it is to forget about who you are as a woman & caught up in trying to be the best mum, the best wife, lover, friend & the list goes on.

Though I wish to tell you something that not many will share with you.

You don’t gain anything other than feeling overwhelmed & empty when trying to be everything for everyone else. Most new mum’s don’t have a tribe to surround them and support them through the first 6 weeks which is the most intense time with healing, feeding, sleeping and so on

So when we try to ignore this need to hibernate, rest & recover and instead we clean our house so it is spotless, we make dinner for our husband & are always available for our friends we are doing a disservice to ourselves & our health.

We must let go of the need to please others and take care & prioritise our own needs so we can actually function without falling into a space where sometimes we can’t get out of it so easily.

Here are some of the ways to take care of you & fill up your cup regardless of how young or old your children are.

REST – Yes! This is the number one thing that is a must. When your baby rests, you rest. I didn’t understand the importance of this and instead, I would try and cram everything I ‘Should’ have been doing into my babies’ sleep times (when they would sleep).
Instead of criticising myself for not mopping the floor or doing the washing I should have just either slept or laid on the couch & rested.

One thing I highly recommend for new mums is that if people want to gift you something, ask for a voucher to a cleaning service and get them in once a week to help you feel good in your space. This takes a huge amount of stress off your shoulders.

Ask for help. We are such a proud society where we say we can do it ourselves. We can’t! We weren’t made too. Find your tribe or find someone you can trust who you can call on if you are struggling with just needing to get some sleep whilst someone holds your baby. Most people want to help and really love spending time with cute babies. Seriously I know I would totally be done for that. I love babies, I just don’t want any more of my own so I love holding other people’s babies.

Each morning take time just for yourself, even if that is 5mins but make it count!

What can you do in that time that will help you feel better & more grounded in yourself? Is it turning on your favourite song & dancing like nobody’s watching? Is it meditating? Having tea & writing in a journal? It’s asking yourself what you need & doing it.

When you are having a shower, actually practice giving love back to yourself by touching yourself & your body with love. It’s as simple as saying I love me, I love myself, I love my body, I love who I am, I love all of me whilst washing yourself. Give some of that love you give to everyone else back to yourself.

Doing something that makes you laugh. could it be having a conversation with your girlfriend? Watching a funny movie or video? Laughter is the best medicine and honestly when you are home by yourself with your baby sometimes we can get too serious or stuck in a routine to take time out to play.

Spend time outside on the earth every single day.

You want to feel good & heal quicker then go barefoot on the grass. Listen to the birds, watch the trees, let mother nature hold you, and nurture you. Create daily practices however long or short to remember that you matter and that you aren’t just a mother, you are a woman with needs & desires as well.

Be honest to those around you that you can trust or seek a tribe whether online or in-person where you can feel what you are experiencing whether ‘good’ or ‘bad’. I can’t express to you how important it is to your wellbeing to have a group of fellow women where you can be heard, held, supported & celebrated.

It can be the difference between struggling to stay afloat or walking through your day knowing that you aren’t alone and at any time you need someone to talk to you can. Knowing can be more powerful than anything else.

Be kind & compassionate towards yourself. Stop judging your body, your parenting, your actions & start loving the woman who brought a baby into this world. Who is waking up every day regardless of how tired you are and parenting the best way you can.

Have an open heart & mind. This for me is a non negotiable. To be able to live a fulfilling life is to not be caught up in trying to fit into a box or mould of what a mother & woman should be. Find those who support you in finding a way of doing life that feels good to you rather than trying to create a life that looks good to others.

Choose you. In this I mean find ways where you are listening to your needs & desires. Is someone asking something of you where you feel you just can’t or that you really don’t want to – Say No lovingly.

Say yes to yourself as well. When you are tired, sore go and get a massage. No guilt & no shame.

Practising self-love is not selfish.

Trying to make others happy is not selfless.

Practising self-love is selfless, not only does it help you feel good inside of yourself, you are able to show up in a more fulfilling way within all areas of your life. When you give to someone you are able to give more & in a more balanced way.

I like to say that practicing self-love is actually selfish. When we don’t take care of our needs we can get stressed, overwhelmed, angry, resentful, reactive and so on and then that is rippled out throughout your day such as your relationship & parenting.

Make your relationship a priority. Make time for you & your partner to spend connected time with each other. It might be 5mins where you have a tea together, or go outside in the sun and just chat. Giving & receiving love. Asking for support you might be needing and being honest on what you are struggling with.

My husband had no idea I was struggling half of the time, because I wouldn’t tell him in case I let him down. That was never the case, it was my own ego & need to show that I am worthy by being a good mother. I ended up being angry & resentful towards him that nearly broke our relationship all because I wouldn’t communicate honestly.

Men are not mind readers and most of the time they don’t look further then the surface, so if you say you are ok when you really aren’t they are going to take you at face value. So stop trying to be superwoman, be real, be honest & let your partner support you and let him step up into a more fulfilling & connected role as husband & father.

Never give up hope. When you are struggling please reach out. Don’t let yourself go through these amazing changes & sometimes challenges alone. Like I said women were never meant to do life alone so find your tribe so you can thrive, because when you think you can’t they know you can.

Sisterhood

Sisterhood

Sisterhood is not only butterflies & rainbows it is truth, it is real emotions, it is shadow & light. It takes a certain kind of woman to allow a true connection to happen to another woman.

It takes a woman who is willing to embrace all of herself, all of her shadow & light, so she can embrace all of another without judgement or expectations.

Sisterhood is a place for women to come together, to teach, support, nourish one another. It’s learning the balance of giving & receiving. Sisterhood is about love & trust in one another to be our true self.

I love creating connection with another woman. In my sisterhood I know that even through the dark times we can be there for one another, even if we disagree, get triggered or react to one another, because I have learned compassion and kindness for myself and so it is only natural for me to do the same for another.

Sometimes I feel the way that I share & hold space is not as gentle as others though it is earthy, raw & real and so full of love. It is who I am and I embrace that.

I love my sisters and what sisterhood has meant for me & given to me. I have so much gratitude that I know longer walk alone on this journey.

Do you have women in your life that support & nurture you as you do them? Share this with them to let them know how much they mean to you.

So much love,
Tam xo

Would you like to be in the March 2021 Issue of Mumpreneur Movement Magazine?

Would you like to be in the March 2021 Issue of Mumpreneur Movement Magazine?

Hello beautiful people,

Hope you’re going extremely well.

Mum or not, you are welcome to join our amazing community of women (and men). We invite you to submit an article, however, please note that due to previous contributors committing to a spot than not submitting an article (we understand life is life) Moving forward, we will not save a spot until we receive your article unless we know you are a reliable source.

This opportunity shouldn’t be taken lightly especially given the reach of the magazine and the amazing women we are getting on the Front Cover. Not only is this great for you to leverage it also adds to your creditability and authority.

It can help grow your business, speaking opportunities, and others who want to connect with you. It can also lead to other amazing opportunities that all contributors from 2020 will have the chance to win.

An email will be going out in the next couple of weeks outlining the specifics – yet what you need to know is that we are creating a competition where all of our 2020 contributors can go into the draw to win the March Front Cover spot + Showcase + Full Page Ad – worth over $5000!!!

This is going to be a yearly competition so if you have thought about contributing and want the opportunity to be on the Front cover then make sure to submit your article!

To check out the guidelines, go to the unit section found in the Mumpreneur Movement group, and you can download the pdf there.

March’s issue’s theme is Influence.

The topics that this can include are:

– How to be a leader when you are an introvert
– Being a leader and a mother
– The power of being an influencer
– The ripple effect
– How to be a leader when you don’t feel like it
– Your personal story of becoming a leader
– Owning a business means you are a leader
– How to take lead in the bedroom
– Personal Branding is the new black
– How to Become an Influencer in Any Industry
– Non Social Media Ways to grow your business
– How to use your influence for good
– The difference you can really make
– 10 Best Practices to being influential
– Create for that one person who’s life you might change
– Taking a break from social media and how it can benefit you
– It’s not about the numbers (on social media)
– Are you creating just for the sake of creating?
– How to be an authentic influencer?
– How {insert person’s name} changed my life
– Do your research, don’t be sold just by a good sales pitch
– How to sell without selling
– Sell with heart
– Are you really in it for the right reason?

These are just ideas, your article can be linked to the theme directly or indirectly.

We look forward to an awesome collaboration!

Ready to submit your article? Fill in this form.

Send us a message if you have any questions or suggestions to make this work smoothly for us both.

Much love, 

Tam and team x

What is the Mumpreneur Movement about?

What is the Mumpreneur Movement about?

Many have asked me what is the Mumpreneur Movement about?

I always respond with it was created to support women to do life, motherhood and business differently.

It sounds pretty doesn’t it, but what does it really mean?

For me it means that I was so sick and tired of seeing fluffy content focused on this that didn’t really matter, content that eluded that I wasn’t pretty, fit and wrinkle-free enough, that I must be failing because my business wasn’t automated, making millions of dollars; of have hundreds and thousands of followers.

I also felt that there was such a disconnect between what a mum really is and how it’s portrayed in today’s society, especially on social media.

Just take a scroll on Instagram you can see thousands of influencer mums looking stylish and put together as do their children. Their house looks immaculate and they seem to have a perfect life.

Though it’s not real, yes some of it is but we don’t get to see behind the scenes, you know the real stuff like trying to juggle being a mum and being a boss whilst never having enough energy to make love to your partner (or with yourself, I don’t’ judge). That you can’t always take a perfect selfie, and yes it’s normal for kids to argue and fight amongst themselves as it is for us to mess up.

WE AREN’T PERFECT! 

Life, motherhood and business are messy, chaotic and can feel like you are on a rollercoaster that never ends.

Sometimes it all seems hard and you hold on for dear life and try and control everything and everyone which only makes things work (like being on the rollercoaster the only thing you can control is yourself).

Then sometimes it all seems easy and fun which is when you let go of the safety bars and surrender to wherever you are being taken.

It is this duality, the challenges and experiences, the ups and downs that we have that make us stronger, wiser; more resilient as well as making us more grateful.

So I created the MM as I wanted you, women around the world to know that you aren’t alone and never will be. I am here for you, my beautiful community. As is each woman who is journeying with us.

I am here to support you, educate you and empower you through the best way I know how – The Mumpreneur Movement Magazine that shares real-life stories & expert advice from authentic women (& from a man or two) who understand you and where you are at.

This is who the Mumpreneur Movement is and I am so proud of the contributors who show up for each issue and share authentically, openly and loving for all of us to gain from.

Together we can thrive if we are willing to support each other.

So much love,

Tam x

Finding Balance As a Mumpreneur

Finding Balance As a Mumpreneur

Finding Balance As a Mumpreneur

 

So you have taken the step and started your own business. How exciting! I bet you are feeling a rush of different emotions right now. There is probably so much going on in your life. You are not only running a business but also running a household as well – superwoman right there!.

Have you ever heard the saying ‘there aren’t enough hours in a day’? This is a saying that rings true for Mumpreneurs all over the world. There just simply is not enough hours in the day to get everything done on your lists. Even though you have started your own business and have started it with the mindset that you will get more time at home with your family – it doesn’t always work out like this from the beginning. There will be times when it seems like you are giving all your attention to the business or the opposite and not giving the business the time it needs to become successful. You may start to feel like you are letting your family down because you are spending too much time trying to make the business successful.

This is where finding a work life balance is important. It is not only important for your business, but it is also important for your family. And most importantly it is important for your own mental and physical well being.

What is work life balance?

A work life balance is finding a way to be able to comfortably complete the different tasks that you have on hand. A way to be able to stop juggling the business and your family and start balancing them. A healthy work life balance is important as it ensure that you are giving the right time and energy to the right area during the scheduled time. It also means that you are putting yourself in a more stable and comfortable environment which will impact your mental and physical wellbeing.

A work life balance does not mean that you have to spend equal amounts of time on each part of your life. It simply means that you need to find a balance that gives all aspects of your life the time that they need and deserve. One part of your life may require more time and attention than another part. This does not mean it is unbalanced, it means you are balancing it properly.

How do I achieve it?

Achieving a work life balance can take a little bit of time to master in the beginning, especially if you are in the start up phase of your business. Take an afternoon on your own where you can be left alone and peaceful. During this time write out the different aspects of the business and the aspects of your life and list each aspect in its importance and how much it means to you.

Knowing all the things you have to do and having it all laid out on the table will help you to start creating your balancing plan. Having a balance between your work and life means that you are able to focus on the right areas of your life at the right time.

Why is it important?

A work life balance is important for a number of reasons. It helps to create an environment in your mind where you are focused and reduce the stress that you may be feeling. It helps with the drive of the business, because you know when you are going to be working on the business and you know that you have X amount of time to complete a certain task.

It is important for your personal life as it helps to give you back your own time. It provides you with time to spend with your family without having the business stress looming in the back of your mind.

Having a work life balance will help with your overall mental and emotional health and help to reduce stress and anxiety surrounding the number of things that you need to do.

Finding balance is important and something that every business owner should strive to do. It is not only important for you, but it is also important for your business and those around you. Id the people you spend time with can see that you are stressed and not able to give them your full attention then it can start to affect your relationships.

So take the time to look at your balance and how you can achieve it.

THE COMMUNITY

Events

Magazines

Blog

Membership (Coming Soon)

Designed by Phoenix Agency

© Mumpreneur Movement 2019